You're a Dog—Can You Impress the Judges and Become Best in Show?

Zoe Samuel

Image: SensorSpot / E+ / Getty Images

About This Quiz

If you were a dog, obviously you would be thoroughly cute and lovable, as all dogs are. Your owner would love you no matter whether your behavior was good or bad, and when it was finally time for you to cross the rainbow bridge, you would immediately go to heaven, as all dogs do.

However, the truth is that while all dogs are good, not all dogs are equally likely to win Best in Show. This is because some dogs simply aren't show material. To win, you have to have ironclad doggie discipline, as well as being in stellar shape and having a form that is considered essentially perfect for your breed. This is no easy thing to do, and only the very best dogs even qualify to compete.

Still, if you were a dog--and especially if you were YOUR dog--how might you do? Could your sweet nature, excellent behavior and sterling levels of cuteness persuade even the toughest judge that you are Best In Show? Would you make your owner proud, or leave them clutching their head in despair as you deliberately soil the arena floor? On behalf of your actual real-life dog, or if you prefer, your own inner dog self, it's time to take the test that will tell you whether life in the arena is right for you.

Can you run in a circle without going off to either side?

Do you have a shiny coat and bright eyes?

When was the last time you got in there and brushed your teeth really, really well?

Do you know how to avoid procrastination and distraction?

If you see an old friend, do you always have to run over and greet them?

How well do you handle being among large crowds?

What is your favorite TV show?

Can you handle waiting around for long periods?

Do you really enjoy grooming?

What's your idea of an excellent snack?

Your human left a loaf of bread on the sideboard. What do you do?

If you're told not to get on the couch, how often will you get on the couch?

How well do you walk to heel?

When you gotta go, have you REALLY gotta go?

What is the most important thing in your life?

Would you rather get a medal, or make a roomful of humans laugh really hard?

If the judge has a very attractive leg, how would you feel about that?

How important is it to win?

How far back can you list your doggie pedigree?

How did your current human and you come into one another's lives?

How do you feel about going on a car ride?

Do you want to make puppies someday?

If you have an itch, how long can you bear to go without scratching it?

Do you consider your doggie self to be something of a mutt?

How important is it to be a real "good boy" or "good girl"?

How old were you when you first had puppy training?

If you see your mortal enemy, what's going to happen next?

Do you sometimes pick up a ball and refuse to put it down?

How often do you run off without your human?

Would you let a strange person run their hands over your legs and paws if your human told you to?

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