South Park: Who Said It?

Gavin Thagard

Image: Youtube

About This Quiz

South Park rivals any show when it comes to drawing comedy from social issues and cultural phenomenons. But, how many of these witty lines do you remember from the show?

Who said: "You're not too Jewish to worship Jesus, are you?"

Father Maxi notices that Stan, Kyle, and Cartman haven't been coming to church lately. Kyle, however, is Jewish, but that won't stop Father Maxi from trying to get him to come. He is a priest on a mission.

Who said: "I just want a nerection so I can go give it to my mom!"

Kyle's father is having problems performing in bed, and Kyle's mother expresses her frustration about the matter. Not fully understanding the problem, Kyle searches around town for a "nerection."

Who said: "Eric, do you need to sit in the corner until your flaming gas is under control?"

After Cartman gets an anal probe, he starts farting gas that comes out as a ball of fire during class. Believing Cartman can control the gas, Mr. Garrison threatens to punish Cartman.

Who said: "Tonight is alright for love, love gravy."

A scientist needs to do an experiment where a pig and an elephant make love to produce a smaller elephant. To get the animals into the mood, Chef sings them a song. Who better to sing about making love than Chef?

Who said: "What's the point? They have a Keanu Reeves now."

Kenny becomes the chosen one in Heaven, and Satan learns of Kenny's power. Thinking Kenny is like Keanu Reeves from The Matrix, Satan believes winning the war against Heaven is hopeless.

Who said: "I don't know why the Tooth Fairy's being so cool to me. Maybe she's hot for me."

Cartman notices that the Tooth Fairy is leaving him more money than the other kids, and he believes it's because the Tooth Fairy likes him better. He comes up with a scheme to make more money by leaving everyone's teeth under his pillow. It seems like a legitimate business plan.

Who said: "Hell, everything's legal in Mexico. It's the American way."

Fireworks are banned in the state of Colorado, and the boys are disappointed. To help out the kids of South Park, Jimbo goes to Mexico and brings back illegal fireworks.

Who said: "Young man, you can't just go around declaring shenanigans on innocent people. That's how wars get started."

Kyle calls shenanigans on a game operator when he can't get the balls in the hole, as he believes the game is rigged. Officer Barbrady comes over to check out the game, but it works just fine because the operator swapped out the balls. It turns out that he's a crafty con man.

Who said: "But the guys said if I don't confess my sins and eat crackers, I'm gonna go to Hell."

The other boys tell Kyle that if he doesn't confess his sins and eat crackers then he is going to go to Hell. Kyle confronts his parents about the matter, and they try to explain to him that Jews don't believe that. Kyle refuses to listen though.

Who said: "Lord, is it so much to ask that you not let us suddenly burst into flames for no apparent reason? I mean, come on. Amen."

People in South Park suddenly start bursting into flames, and everyone believes it is because they have been terrible Christians. To protect his congregation, Father Maxi sends out a prayer for the punishment to stop.

Who said: "So you see, we have to kill animals or else they'll die."

Jimbo has a television show about hunting and fishing. In the show, he explains that he kills animals because they will die otherwise from starvation. That gives him a reason to hunt at least.

Who said: "There are no stupid questions, just stupid people"

Mr. Garrison announces that the school is having a canned food drive. Cartman doesn't know what a canned food drive is, but Mr. Garrison sets him straight, while ridiculing him at the same time. Now, that's a good teacher.

Who said: "We're just gonna have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas."

Everyone stops purchasing presents for Christmas, and the boys try to get them back into the buying spirit. Stan feels defeated when they have little success though.

Who said: "Actually, Eric is still supposed to be grounded for trying to exterminate the Jews two weeks ago."

Butters' parents ask Liane Cartman if Eric can go with Butters to Los Angeles since the two boys are spending so much time together, but Eric's mother is reluctant at first because Eric is supposed to be in trouble.

Who said: "Dude, I'm sorry, but we still aren't getting it. You're half man and half berry?"

None of the kids understand why Mint-berry Crunch decided that that name was a good superhero name. Stan finally calls him out about it, saying that they don't know what his superpower is. What can a Mint-berry even do?

Who said: "Respect my authoritah!"

Cartman is deputized by Officer Barbrady, and he takes the duty seriously. He travels around town, enforcing the law and making sure everyone knows he is in charge. It might be best to keep power away from Cartman though.

Who said: "Oh boy, I've never gotten a package this big! I've always wanted to have a huge package!"

Butters gets a package delivered to his house, which he is really excited about, but the package ends up being Eric Cartman dressed like a robot.

Who said: "Isn't this America?! I'm sorry, I thought this was America!"

When the boys make the Little League playoffs, Randy takes the matter very seriously, and he gets drunk at every game just to fight someone from the opposing team. He sure is a dedicated fan.

Who said: "Oh hamburgers!"

This is a line frequently used by Butters when he is worried about something. For example, he says it when he finds out that the pre-school bully is being released from juvenile hall. That's not a guy he wants to see.

Who said: "What would they do on Game of Thrones? What would they do when things looked their darkest?"

Stan and Cartman begin fighting over the better console, the PS4 or the Xbox One. When it seems like Cartman is about to win, Stan decides to beat Cartman at his own game and seeks out help from the Playstation CEO.

Who said: "Bzzzz! WRONG! Try again dumbass!"

Officer Barbrady goes back to school to learn how to read. While doing an exercise, he tries to read sentences on a board but gets them wrong, and Mr. Garrison criticizes him for it. It seems like Mr. Garrison has high expectations for his students.

Who said: "M'kay."

"M'kay" is the most used word of Mr. Mackey. He often uses it as a question to see if others understand what he is saying or as a statement of agreement. M'kay?

Who said: "Dude, girls should totally be allowed to play sports, you just can't expect people to want to watch."

A few girls ask Cartman to come support the girls' volleyball team because they are having a big game, but Cartman has a less than enthusiastic view about girls' athletics. At least he's honest about his opinion.

Who said: "The players should all wear bras. And instead of helmets, they should wear little tinfoil hats, ‘cause, you know, it’s the future and we shouldn’t be so barbaric."

Randy is irritated that everyone thinks football is too dangerous. In a sarcastic fashion, he starts explaining a game that would be all about safety. Everyone takes him seriously, however, and he becomes the head coach for the new game. That wasn't exactly his plan though.

Who said: "Football is like making love to a really beautiful woman. You can't always score, but when you do, it makes all the trying worthwhile."

Chef is the school football coach, and they have the Homecoming game up next. The problem is that the alumni from the school are more excited about the game than the kids playing.

Who said: "You're probably wondering why we're standing here with a pile of money and no pants on."

Chef bursts into the Mayor's office to tell her about the zombies that have taken over South Park, but to his surprise, the Mayor is standing next to Officer Barbrady without her pants. To top it off, her desk is covered in money.

Who said: "I'm not fat; I'm big-boned."

Cartman is forced to see a counselor about his anger issues, and the counselor tries to evoke anger by calling Cartman fat in order to properly diagnose him. Cartman seems to take the name calling well until the counselor finds out that Cartman told his wife that he is a sex offender.

Who said: "Just gonna get a little bit of cancer, Stan. Tell mom it’s okay."

Randy decides to give himself cancer because he wants to get a prescription for medical marijuana. He tries everything from staying out in the Sun to standing in front of the microwave. He's a man committed to his cause.

Who said: "A haiku is just like a normal American poem except it doesn't rhyme and it's totally stupid."

Mr. Garrison teaches the kids about haikus, but he doesn't have a very high opinion of them. The kids catch on quickly though, and they use haikus to insult one another, which makes the haikus a little less stupid.

Who said: "Can't we just be like normal third graders for a little while?"

Mr. Garrison teaches the kids about social problems by playing episodes of a detective show, but the kids are tired of watching the show. Instead, they want to do art projects and go on field trips, like other third graders. Is that too much to ask for?

Who said: "Token, stop giving Tyler Perry money or he won't go away."

Tyler Perry comes to South Park for a comedy award ceremony. Token is the only one who seems to find him funny though, and the other kids are annoyed by his presence. But, as long as Token gives him money, he won't leave.

Who said: "Great job, son. Now the Japanese are normal like us."

The Japanese blame dolphins and whales for dropping the atomic bombs, but the animals were framed by America. When Stan finds out, he decides to redirect their aggression to cows and chickens, making them supposedly normal like Americans.

Who said: "Truth? But that's boring! I want to get "Dare" to kiss her."

Stan and Kyle build a clubhouse so that Wendy and Bebe will come over and play "Truth or Dare" with them, but the boys don't know how to play. They seek the help of Chef who tells them they can't be too eager for a "Dare." They have to play it cool first.

Who said: "My only hope is to whore myself to every woman in town."

Chef wrote a song years ago that becomes a current hit, and he wants credit for writing the song. He decides to become a prostitute in order to raise the money to hire Johnnie Cochran as his lawyer.

Who said: "Screw you, hippie!"

Cartman wins an essay competition about saving the planet, but everyone thinks he cheated, which seems fair considering Cartman mainly thinks about himself. Cartman doesn't care what the other kids think, however, as he believes they all wrote about hippie topics anyways.

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