How Woke Are You in Bed?

Zoe Samuel

Image: Kathrin Ziegler/DigitalVision/Getty Images

About This Quiz

In 2006, an activist named Tarana Burke founded what is now called the "#MeToo" movement, when she encouraged survivors of sexual assault to discuss their experiences starting with those words. In 2017, #MeToo went viral when activist and actress Alyssa Milano tweeted to her followers to say #MeToo if they had survived assault. As millions of women - and no small number of men - responded, the power dynamics of industries, relationships, and society were put under a spotlight, with many found wanting.

#MeToo didn't come from nothing, however. It is a tipping point, the product of generations awakening to the idea that our bodies are our own, and that only the body's owner can decide with whom to share it, when, and on what terms. This began with the idea, "No means no". It challenged centuries of thinking that said "no" was token resistance, or at most, the starting point of a negotiation. This evolved into the more nuanced, "Yes means yes", which understood that someone may be too intimidated, drunk, or shy to say no, but this doesn't mean "yes" can be assumed. This shifted the onus from the less-powerful partner and encouraged the more-powerful partner to proactively seek consent.

Being woke in bed means knowing this history, but instead of seeing consent as a legal or moral hurdle, embracing the beauty that is only possible when equal partners come together in mutual desire and respect. Nothing is sexier than a truly enthusiastic and freely-given, "Yes! I want you; I want this!" and nothing feels better than intimate encounters that include these sentiments.

Have you made the leap? Let's find out!

When you lean in for the kiss, do you pause to ask if it's okay?

When is a good time to ask someone on a date?

Do you know how to politely refuse an invitation to go out with friends?

Are you great at setting boundaries?

Do you tend to listen to your instincts?

If your partner says stop, what do you do?

If your partner starts crying, what does this mean?

Have you ever gotten into kink?

Where's your dream place to sleep with someone?

What is the best kind of consent?

What one word sums up how you feel about sex?

Have you ever had an encounter that involved a safeword?

If your partner stops things in the middle, do you ask why?

Do you feel weird asking for consent?

If someone agrees to come home with you, does this mean they want to bang you?

Are you good at dancing with a partner?

If a person said yes yesterday, would you ever consider that a good guide to what they're thinking today?

How important is it that your partner have a great time?

If you're married or in a long-term partnership, do you still have to ask for consent?

Should men open the door for others?

How many partners have you had?

What do make sure to you say to your partner the next morning?

How do you usually break up with someone?

Do you think there is such a thing as "blurred lines"?

How ready are you to commit to someone?

What's your favorite bedroom addition?

What might your partner say other than "stop" or "no" that would make you stop anyway?

How good do you think you are in bed?

Could consent ever be sexy to you?

What is the best thing about knowing you have consent?

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