How Well Do You Know the Best Quotes From "Spaceballs?"

Abi Luftig

Image: Test Hero Credit

About This Quiz

Spaceballs is a hilarious and highly quotable movie. All of the great one-liners and clever references to other movies set this film apart. How many of these awesome quotes can you remember?

Finish this line: "Never have that damn thing down in front of me. How I do I know you're not _________ under that thing?"

President Skroob demands Helmet not have his face shield down in front of him, for fear Helmet is making faces at him. When the shield is lifted, Rick Moranis is sticking his tongue out at Mel Brooks.

Who said, "It's her royal highness' matched luggage!"

John Candy's robotic costume required three people to operate it. Candy hid a remote in his palm that controlled the tail, and each ear was controlled by a seperate assistant off-camera. The costume required a 30-pound battery strapped to Candy's back.

Finish this line: "So, Lone Starr, now you see that evil will always triumph because __________."

Dark Helmet says this oft-quoted line, as a parody of the simple "good always defeats evil" philosophy of this genre of film. Mel Brooks decided to parody the sci-fi genre after "destroying" Westerns ("Blazing Saddles"), horror ("Young Frankenstein"), and silent movies ("Silent Movie").

Finish this line: "What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? __________?"

Dark Helmet asks this of his inferior officer, played by George Wyner. Wyner was not the first choice for the role, however. Brooks had originally intended the character to be played by Steve Martin.

Finish this line: "I told you never to call me on this wall! __________________"

President Skroob shouts this line to his floor-to-ceiling video conference wall when talking to Commander Zircon. Mel Brooks played President Skroob, whose name is an anagram of Brooks.

Finish this line: I'm a mog. Half man, half dog. I'm ________."

In the English version, Barf is a Mog. In the Russian version, they make a clever language joke by calling him a "chelobakka." This combined the words for man (chelovek) and dog (sobaka). It's also a play on Chewbacca.

Who says "On this ship, you are to refer to me as "idiot," not "you captain!"

Lone Starr (Bill Pullman) blusters his way through meeting Princess Vespa with this line. Bill Pullman was far from the first choice for the role of Lone Starr, which had been intended for James Caan. However, Caan was dealing with addiction issues and the studio decided it was too expensive to insure him. Brooks and his wife had seen the then-unknown Pullman in an off-Broadway play and decided to cast him.

Finish this line: Hey! I don't have to put up with this! ____________!

Princess Vespa declares that she doesn't have to put with anything because she's rich. Vespa's name is a somewhat hidden joke. "Vespa" is the Italian word for wasps, and a WASP is an insulting term for a privileged (often wealthy) white person of "good lineage."

Who says "They've gone to plaid!"

When Spaceball 1 goes beyond Ludicrous Speed and into Plaid, Barf is stunned. Rick Moranis (Dark Helmet) actually recommended John Candy for the part of Barf. They had previously been castmates in "SCTV," "Brewster's Millions," and "Little Shop of Horrors." This is the first time in their careers that they worked on the same project but didn't share any scenes.

Who says "Goodbye, virgin alarm."

This line by Dot Matrix is the final line of the film. Most Millenials won't know this, but the character of Dot Matrix was named after a popular type of home printers in the 70s and 80s.

Finish this line: "No, sir! I didn't see you playing with your _____ again!

This scene was completely improvised. Mel Brooks had the idea of Helmet playing with the Spaceballs action figures, and suggested it to Rick Moranis. Moranis loved the idea and came up with all the dialogue on the spot.

Who said "When will then be now?"

Dark Helmet (Rick Moranis) says this when getting confused by the passage of time in the movie vs time on the video of the movie. Director Mel Brooks said this bit was one of his two favorite scenes in the whole film.

Who said the line "At last we meet for the first time for the last time."

Bill Pullman is more than just an accomplished actor, he is also a published playwright. His first play, "Expedition 6," opened in San Francisco in September 2007.

Finish this line: "No, no, no. Go past this. Pass this part. In fact, ________________."

This is Dark Helmet (Rick Moranis) reacting to his embarrassing faux-pas on camera while the crew watches the instant video of "Spaceballs: The Movie" on Mr. Rental. Viewers can clearly see copies of other Mel Brooks movies on the shelf next to Mr. Rental.

Who said "Barf... Puke... *Whatever!*"

This line was said by Pizza the Hut, a character named after the then-new Pizza Hut franchises and modeled after Jabba the Hut. Pizza was voiced by Dom DeLuise, who is good friends with Mel Brooks and has cameo roles in most of his films. These roles include Don Giovanni in "Men in Tights," Dom Bell in "Silent Movie," and Emperor Nero in "The History of the World Part 1."

Finish this line: "Forget the ring! The ring is bupkis! I found it in a ______________!"

Yogurt tells Lone Starr that the ring is basically a prop and not necessary for using the Schwartz. In the DVD commentary, Mel Brooks said that while he loved playing Yogurt, it was literally a huge pain. The gold makeup caused him to break out in a severe rash on his neck and face. Despite wearing kneepads to walk on his knees, his knees were always hurting from walking on them. But he reassured fans that it was totally worth the pain to play Yogurt, which he "enjoyed tremendously."

Finish this line: "That was my Virgin Alarm. It's programmed to _________ before you do."

Dot Matrix uses her built-in Virgin Alarm to stop Vespa and Lone Starr from kissing. Dot was voiced by Joan Rivers. The actress inside the suit was Lorene Yarnell Jansson. Six different Dot Matrix suits were made for Jansson. All six were broken through the course of filming.

Who says "There's only one man who would dare give me the raspberry: Lone Starr!"

In 1986, writer and director Mel Brooks teamed up with R.L. Stine (under the pen name Jovial Bob Stine) to create a novelization of this film. In the novel, this line is expanded to say that Lone Starr knows Helmet is allergic to raspberries.

Finish this line: "Excuse me! I'm trying to conduct a ________ here which has nothing to do with love, so please be quiet!"

When Lone Starr interrupts the second attempt to wed Vespa and Valium, the minister angrily hisses this classic line. The minister was played by the late Ronny Graham, a friend of Mel Brooks', who often had cameo roles in his films. He was a villager in "Robin Hood: Men in Tights," Sondheim in "To Be or Not To Be," and Oedipus in "The History of The World Part 1." Graham died of liver disease in 1999.

Who says "The ship is too big. If I walk, the movie will be over."

This is one of Mel Brooks's lines as President Skroob. Brooks made sure that the villainous character of Skroob had a mustache, as he has been quoted as saying "A cinema villain essentially needs a mustache so he can twiddle with it gleefully as he cooks up his next nasty plan."

Finish this line: "Did I miss something? When did we _________________?"

Lone Starr asks this in confusion when he meets the Dinks. In the novelization of Spaceballs, Jovial Bob Stein reveals the names of the Dinks: Rinky Dink, Blinky Dink, Stinky Dink, Pinky Dink, Finky Dink and Winky Dink.

Who says "I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate"?

While Dark Helmet and most people conclude that this makes Lone Starr and Helmet of no relation to each other, some movie fans feel it could be interpreted to mean that Helmet is Lone Starr's former roommate. Lone Starr's father's brother would be Lone Starr's uncle. The uncle's nephew would be Lone Starr, and the nephew's cousin would be Lone Starr's cousin, so this logic does not pan out.

Who said "Even in the future nothing works!"

While Sandurz, Skroob, and Helmet are learning the self-destruction cancellation button is out of order, the self-destruct voice continues to count down. The countdown was voiced by script supervisor Julie Pitkanen.

Finish this line: I've lost the ____, I lost the _____, and I lost the ____.

The Spaceball who "lost the bleeps, the sweeps, and the creeps" was played by Michael Winslow, the "Man of 10,000 Sound Effects." Mel Brooks joked that by letting Winslow make the noises himself, they saved about $1,000.

Finish this line: "Spaceballs-the ______________. The kids love this one.

Mel Brooks has said that he obtained George Lucas' permission to parody Star Wars, but with one condition: no merchandising. Lucas said that the action figures would look too similar to his, so all merchandising is done by Yogurt and the Dinks. Brooks kept his word and no film-related paraphernalia was ever sold.

Finish this line: "You idiots! These are not them! You've captured _________________!"

The Captain of the Guard is enraged to discover that the Spaceballs haven't captured their prisoners. The Captain is played by character actor Stephen Tobolowsky, who has appeared on shows like "Glee," "Heroes," and "Community," as well as films like "Memento," "Groundhog Day," and "The Lorax." His IMDB page credits him with 254 acting roles.

Who said "You are *ugly* when you're angry."

Lone Starr leads into this comment by talking about Vespa's flushed cheeks and quivering lips, leading her to believe that he is about to compliment her. Instead, he tells her that she is ugly when she's angry. Ironically, Daphne Zuniga, who played Vespa, later went on to act in a show called "Beautiful People" in 2005.

Who said, "Or else Pizza is gonna send out for *you*!"

Vinnie (Rudy DeLuca) was Pizza the Hut's robotic henchman. Many have assumed that DeLuca wore silicone prosthetics to achieve the sharp edges on his cheekbones and forehead. This assumption is incorrect. Vinnie's edgy (pun intended) look was achieved solely with makeup and creative shading.

Who said, "AND WHAT HAVE WE GOT ON THIS THING, A *CUISINART*?"

Dark Helmet angrily spouts this off when Colonel Sandurz says Lone Starr must have hyperjets on his ship. Cuisinart was one of the earliest electric food processors in North America and was used by chefs such as Julia Child and Jacques Pepin. The company eventually branched out into other kitchen appliances. It was bought by Conair in 1989.

Who says, "Oh no, not again"?

This delightful cameo features John Hurt reprising his role from the 1979 sci-fi film "Alien," where his character, Executive Officer Kane, dies as a result of an alien bursting through his chest (admittedly, the first alien didn't burst into song). Hurt was also known as Mr. Ollivander in the Harry Potter Films. He played more than 120 other roles over the course of his 60-year career.

Who said, "Very impressive, Lone Starr. Too bad this isn't the Wide World of Sports."

Dark Helmet uses this put-down to insult Lone Starr's use of the Schwartz. ABC's Wide World of Sports ran from April 29, 1961, to January 3, 1998. It was hosted by Jim McKay, with a variety of co-hosts, presenters, and correspondents. It is credited with the creation of the phrase "the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat."

Finish this line: "No, sir, we call it ______"

Colonel Sandurz introduces Mr. Coffee to Dark Helmet when he mistakes the coffee maker for a radar. Mr. Coffee, developed in 1972, was the first automatic drip coffeemaker. Until then, at-home coffee pots relied on percolation, which left coffee tasting burnt and bitter. Ever at the forefront of coffee technology, Mr. Coffee has since licensed K-cups and released a machine that makes at-home lattes with the push of a button.

Who said, "Hey wait, you forgot to get married!"

Dot says this to Vespa as she runs away from her first wedding. Joan Rivers, the voice of Dot Matrix, was previously acquainted with Mel Brooks through their work on PBS' "The Electric Company." Brooks provided the voice for the Blond-Haired Cartoon Man and Rivers was the narrator for "The Adventures of Letterman."

Finish this line: "It's _______. She's gone from suck to blow."

Lone Starr uses the Schwartz to move the button on Mega Maid's vacuum cleaner from "suck" to "blow." He then tricks Helmet into hitting the self-destruct button, which launches a 3-minute countdown.

Finish this line: "Dear me. What are these things coming out of her _______?"

The head and vacuum arm of Mega Maid crash-lands on The Planet of the Apes. Sandurz, Helmet, and Skroob then begin to climb down from her nose. The original "Planet of the Apes" series had 5 films (1968-1973). There was a stand-alone remake in 2001. The current reboot/prequel series has three films as of 2017.

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