How Long Could You Survive Chained to a Bunk Bed With a Velociraptor?

Marie Hullett

Image: benedek / Yuriy Priymak / jamesbenet / RapidEye / filo / E+ / Stocktrek Images / DigitalVision Vectors / Getty Images

About This Quiz

Nicknamed the "speedy thief," the velociraptor roamed the planet approximately 70 to 85 million years ago. You may have seen the terrifying velociraptor depicted wreaking havoc in "Jurassic Park," however, that portrayal is far from accurate. Many people don't know that the real thing wasn't scaly, but feathered. It wasn't seven feet tall, but closer to three. It did have wings, but it couldn't fly. 

Still, it could run up to 40 miles per hour, disembowel creatures with its freakish hind claws, and, as a cold-blooded carnivore, loved to gobble up whatever flesh it could sink its fangs into. Yeah, so, still pretty scary. But since it's roughly the size of a big bird, do you think you could maybe stand a chance being chained to a bunk bed with one? 

There's only one way to find out! When you take the following quiz, you'll be able to determine exactly how long you'd last in a strange situation with this hair-raising prehistoric creature. That way, you'd be able to prepare in case the predicament arises in the real world. Hey, you never know what life might bring, right? They brought the dinosaurs back to life in "Jurassic Park," and that was years ago, so ... 

OK, so your chains are on, and the velociraptor has begun to bare its teeth and wave its weird, short arms around. What do you do first?

Let's say that you can choose which level of the bunk to be chained to. What would you pick?

Whether you played basketball, did gymnastics, or have never played a sport, how's your vertical leap?

Some people can stomach the sight of blood, others feel like passing out at the faintest drop of it. Where do you stand?

Uh oh, the velociraptor is lunging right toward you. How do you respond?

Have you ever had to take on a dangerous wild animal before, like a bear, cougar or rabid dog?

Do you know how to properly perform a sleeper choke hold?

Do you have any martial arts experience?

In general, how do you respond to stress?

Oh no! Ouch. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the velociraptor just ripped off one of your arms. What do you do?

Surprise! You might be missing an arm, but you get to choose from one of the following things to assist you. Which will you pick?

Luckily for you, you get to select a weapon. Which one of these will you choose?

Though they may be fearsome, they are small: velociraptors stand only about as high as a large turkey, or about three feet tall. Still, when chained to the bed with one, you'll need all the size advantage you can get. So, how tall are you?

In general, what's your attitude toward physical violence?

The sickle-shaped claws on each hind foot of the velociraptor are believed to have been used to disembowel prey. Sounds nice, right?

Don't forget that there are pillows, sheets and a comforter on the bed. Does this mean anything to you?

Have you ever wrestled?

How skilled are you in the art of rope knots?

Oh no, the velociraptor attacked your thigh pretty severely. The blood keeps gushing out. What do you do?

The velociraptor is obviously strong and scary, but it did have one area of weakness. Do you know the velociraptor's weakest spot compared to many other predators?

It turns out that the velociraptor isn't the sharpest tool in the shed. Evolutionary biomechanist Dr. John Hutchinson estimates that they're "no smarter than a pretty dumb bird like an Emu or something like that." So, even if you can't out-claw it, do you think you can outsmart it?

You're exhausted, but you have to keep fighting. Which tactic will you employ now?

Never mind what "Jurassic Park" wants you to think, is the velociraptor even that scary?

OK, so you have the option to add another chained human to the bunk bed to support you. However, if you choose to do so, there will also be ANOTHER chained velociraptor. What do you think?

The average velociraptor weighs just 15 to 33 pounds. With that in mind, your physical strength may have a major impact in this struggle. So, how much can you deadlift?

Great news! You can phone a friend now, if you will, and enlist a modern-day animal for a little help. Which one of these creatures will you pick?

Wow, for someone who's chained to a bunk bed with a loathsome beast, you're pretty lucky. You also get to pick a superpower to employ. Which one will you choose?

Back to assessing your physical fitness. Do you hit the gym often?

Somehow, you didn't notice a large mirror on the wall just within reach until now. What do you do with it?

This is weird, but you suddenly have the option to swap out your velociraptor with a different dinosaur. Which one will you choose?

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