Can You Match “The Inbetweeners” Quote to the Character?

ENTERTAINMENT

By: Zoe Samuel

7 Min Quiz

Image: E4

About This Quiz

"The Inbetweeners" isn't just a comedy that earned a spot in the memories of university students all over the UK, but it will be forever remembered as a programme that punched well above its weight, with its first film to set a record for the best opening of a theatrical comedy in the history of the UK. It is a success by every measure, with fans all over the English speaking world, and a string of seasons and feature films attesting to its ability to draw in audiences with its incessant toilet humor and sexualisation of Will's mum.

Perhaps the best-remembered feature of "The Inbetweeners" is its snappy dialog — well, after the incident with the public pool. Every character on "The Inbetweeners" was unique, and confusing the dialog given to one with another is difficult. Every detail about the cast was meticulously crafted to make them unique, from Will's pleading childishness, Simon's optimistic blindness, to Jay's limited use of syllables, details, and pronouns. On "The Inbetweeners," nothing is wasted; there is no dialog that does not push the story forward in some way. Somehow, the writers managed to make the dialog all these things, and still use it to induce the kind of cringe-inducing humour one remembers and references for years. How well do you remember the dialog in "The Inbetweeners"? Can you match the lines to the characters who said them?

Who is it who, without meaning to, speaks the truth that "Jane's all right you know. She's a laugh."?

Jay does a bit of growing up in Crete, emotionally speaking. He meets Jane, a girl who gets on well with him when he isn't being pretentious. By the end of the film, Jay realizes that Jane is lovely, and if he's honest with her and with himself, they can both have a nice time.

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Who was it who said "There's nothing funny about testicles, Cooper, as you will discover tomorrow in my office."?

When Simon plucks up the courage to strut his stuff on the catwalk of a fashion show, he does so with one of his testicles protruding from an open fly, giving the whole audience a little something they weren't expecting. When Mr. Gilbert arrives backstage, he doesn't realize Simon didn't mean to do this and admonishes him for what Mr. Gilbert sees as a disgusting prank.

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Early in the series, someone says "If we don't get served, I will be humiliated in front of the girl I've lusted after since I was eight." Who was that?

Simon is "the pretty one" of the titular outcasts, and his teen years' awkwardness involves his passions for Carli, a girl whom he loves, but who does not see him as more than a friend. When he and his friends try to be cool or spend time with the in-crowd, for him, it's always about getting the right sort of attention from Carli.

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"Well, considering she's my mother ... no?!" is a line from which character?

One fact of life for Will, the main protagonist of "The Inbetweeners," is that his mother is an attractive woman, and she is wanted by both men and Will's teenage friends. When Jay decides he wants to get under Will's skin, he prods him about if he would want to be romantically involved with his mother, eliciting this response.

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Which insecure teen said, "Doesn't a pint seem like a lot when you think about it? I mean, you wouldn't want to drink pint after pint of orange squash, would you?"?

Will expresses his trepidation through demonstrations of thought, which is how he values himself. In this case, feeling awkward about a social situation, he deflects a question by climbing deep into his head and then guiding his train of thought directly out of his mouth and into the conversation for no good reason.

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Who was it who gave the rather insane advice "You don't just walk up to a girl in a club and introduce yourself. It's creepy!"?

Jay's advice is often not just counterintuitive, but also wrong — factually wrong. This is just such a case. The boys are out at a club when Jay says this, followed by a proposal that one simply dances near and tries to make eye contact and hope for the best. The boys take his advice, and it doesn't end well for Jay.

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Which character brushed off a manipulative compliment by saying "I've long since been insecure about my capacity for learning, so it's nice to have it ratified by you. A child."?

Will has a way of being a bit patronising, especially toward people he views as authority figures. Taking this approach to Mr. Gilbert backfires horribly. When Will says that Mr. Gilbert seems an intelligent man, the teacher responds with the above line of dialog.

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One of the characters says "I stopped believing in God when I realised it's just dog spelled backwards." Who do you think said this?

Neil oscillates between deeply idiotic and deeply philosophical, if only by accident. In this case, he manages to be both, giving a reason for his atheism that is simultaneously silly and brilliant. Don't expect that too often from him.

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Who says of Jay "If ever there were an advertisement for drugs not being cool, Jay was it."?

When Neil and Jay try to score "some gear" in a pub, they have a very awkward encounter with a dealer. They are accused of assuming he is a dealer because of his race, and given a brief education about the perils of implicit bias, before being sold some merchandise. Then Jay asks for help getting set up.

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Who says to Neil the line"You don't have to thank me every time."?

Neil works in a local grocer, behind the fish counter. When his shift ends, he drops what he is doing, literally in this case, spilling prawns everywhere, and turns to the exit, where Nicole is waiting. The two kiss deeply, in front of horrified customers, and Neil thanks Nicole again and again, to which she responds with this line.

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"At best I am ambivalent toward most of you, but some of you I actively dislike," was said by which character?

When all of the upper sixth formers graduate, Mr. Gilbert gives what no one would consider an inspirational speech, but what is at least an honest one. In his remarks, he discourages any sentimental attachments to him or the school, suggesting none of the students let the door hit them on the way out.

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To which character would you match the quote "I've just had a really nice ***, thinking about your mother."?

Just when the boys think they're going to be cool, the world pulls the rug out from under them. Patrice is a cool, French exchange student who becomes their charge, but proximity to him doesn't make them cool, and when Patrice expresses honesty to his hosts, it makes everything awkward, as was the case with this compliment to Will.

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Which character observes "They say the art of teaching is aiding discovery."?

Will's internal monologue is a major feature of "The Inbetweeners," allowing for smooth scene transitions, and stitching the show together so that leaps can be made in time and space without shredding the narrative logic. This line, which is followed closely by Will describing how Mr. Gilbert is not suited to this task, is part of Will's non-diegetic text.

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Growing up, everyone finds out that a few truisms we're used to hearing are rubbish. For example, "They say whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for polio." Who said that?

Will is a chronic pessimist, able to see the dark cloud next to every silver lining. This impulse truly comes into its own when he is expressing himself through his internal monologue, often making darkly funny observations such as this one.

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Who was it who said "When people ask me if I like football, I say yes, I like football. But not Burnely," while on a bus?

On the boys' trip to Crete, they spend significant time on a bus full of rowdy Burnely fans who will not stop chanting. As Will tries to recover from his many hours of wakefulness, he develops a seething hatred for these men and their favourite football club.

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Someone asks the either uninformed or deeply philosophical question "What's this pesto stuff? Is it for humans?" Do you know who it is?

Neil is one of the boys, but he's also just a bit slow. On the other hand, when Neil doesn't understand things, he often asks about them, which means that at least he'll probably understand them moving forward. This is just such a case.

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Who asks the seemingly redundant question "How long is my lunch hour?"?

Not all questions Neil asks come from a place lacking in sophistication. Sometimes, as is the case here, he is making certain assumptions about a turn of phrase not actually having as precise a definition as would be suggested, which isn't unreasonable in the English language. Sadly, as is the case here, when the answer is "an hour," then he does look a bit foolish.

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Which character decided to make the colorful simile "All girls think their mates are well fit, then you meet them and they look like a pork scratching."?

Jay likes to give the impression that he is worldly. Has he been to X place? Of course. Has he done Y thing? Ten times. Of course, when asked for any opinion, he has to have one that shows just how sophisticated he is, as is the case here. Of course, they're all nonsense.

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"So if I eat this bonsai tree I automatically become fun and interesting do I?" Who said that?

Dangling one's greatest desire in front of them is cruel and even sometimes dangerous. In this instance, Will's desire to be liked and admired leads him to eat a bonsai tree at a party, an act with no good result. In fact, it simultaneously manages to be unpleasant and antisocial.

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While the boys attempted to be sailors, one yelled "And say what?! 'Help, we've caught a fish?'? We're already in the harbour, what are they gonna do - tow us four feet closer to the shore?" Who was it?

Of the suburban teens, Will seems most likely to have experience in a boat or at least fishing, but like the others, he doesn't quite know what he's doing. While in the harbor in an inflatable raft, the boys panic, suffering a series of misfortunes, and when Jay fires a flare to call for help, he is admonished by Will.

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In the final season, Jay's car plays a major role. Who said "Riding around in Jay's car made me feel like royalty. Unfortunately, the royalty I felt like was Princess Diana."?

Another gem from Will's internal monologue, this comment accompanies one of the many trips the boys take in a car owned by Jay. Jay is understandably proud of his car, as it makes him feel as though he has agency, but his car, like his boasts of virility, is rubbish.

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Which character made the strangely boastful comment "Yeah, my mate's brother invented it. He and his mates used to be called The Dead Hand Gang."?

When Jay does boast of something that's true, it often comes out a bit mangled and crazy. In this case, he says something he likely overheard and did not understand at the time, thinking that it must be cool, but in this new context, at least, it really isn't.

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Which character exclaimed "... The Nemesis Inferno!" when they realized what they'd be doing?

When the boys go to Thorpe Park, Will gets very worked up about getting to ride The Nemesis Inferno, a roller coaster. He demands the boys queue early and wait a long time to get a seat upfront, only to be denied four seats. He assumes other people have cut the line and yells insults as he realizes how inappropriate they are.

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Which sensitive soul said, "It doesn't matter 'cause she's not coming."?

Simon is usually marked out in dialog by his key interest: Carli, or whoever is the object of his desire at any given moment. When Simon raises concerns, they are usually rooted in his romantic interests, or his desire to remain "cool" in the eyes of those he desires.

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Who asks Will "How was the trench?"?

Whilst roughing it, Will endures the indignity of relieving himself in what amounts to a trench. When asked how things went, he answers with his usual pessimism, which inspires laughter from the other boys.

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Who pondered the mystery "What's an itinerary?"?

Neil is a combination of slow and uneducated. This results in his occasional ignorance of things everyone else seems to understand. When he poses this question, Simon responds dryly with "It's Will's way of taking the fun out of everything."

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Who corrects the boys with the statement "Umm, no he isn't, it's his dad."?

As the boys discuss the identity of The Duke of Edinburgh, Jay insists that it is Prince Charles, which begins a series of exchanges highlighting just how ignorant of their own culture some of the boys really are. Of course, it's Will who presses for accuracy in the discussion.

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Which character tries to avoid responsibility by saying "But it's YOUR car!"?

When the boys go for a trip in Simon's terrible car, Neil decides to, at the expense of everyone's comfort, make a ... mess in the back of the car. When the facts become clear, he and Simon argue about whose responsibility it is to clean the car, the one who made the mess, or the one who owns the car.

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Who begs "Oh Dad, please shut up!"?

When Alan, Simon's father, drives the boys to the train to the airport for their trip to Crete, Alan begins describing his youthful trip to Spain, when he got into all sorts of things no boy wants to hear his father speak of, especially in front of his friends. When he finally does stop, it is a huge relief.

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Who demanded of their family "You've effectively ended my life. Why not go the whole hog and just shoot me? Or better still, why don't you take me to the vets and have me secretly put down, just like you did with Patch?!"?

Simon is the most dramatic when it comes to his "life" and his feelings. When he feels betrayed by someone he trusts, his emotional outbursts border on volcanic. When he is dumped, it's the end of the world, and when he is upset with his parents, he brings up old wounds.

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Who tried a recovery but managed to set up an epic fail with the statement "It's just a joke! We're mates!"?

When the boys visit the pool of a nice hotel on Crete, Jay finds himself the object of the attentions of an annoying boy who pushes him into the pool and douses him with a bucket of water. When Jay finally catches the boy and is about to dump him into the pool, he has to stop, delivering this line to the unamused crowd. And then the boy pulls his swim trunks down.

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Who was it who, in season one, said "This has been the best night of my life."?

One of the key elements of Neil's dialog is his frequent use of the passive voice. Sometimes this is his way of distancing himself from responsibility, but other times it just sounds odd, like when he delivers this line.

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Do you know who pointed out "Including what you're wearing now."?

While in Crete, Simon decides to get close to Carli by selling his clothes so he can afford tickets to a boat party she will attend. When James, a man who is interested in Carli, tells Simon he has a friend who wants to buy all of his clothes, Simon gives him everything, including the pants off his backside. Of course, no money comes in return.

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Which wise character uttered the phrase "Rule one of the Sixth Form: Life is not fair"?

Mr. Gilbert is the schoolteacher who seems to take a perverse delight in the pain and awkwardness of his pupils, subjecting them to his domineering ways whenever possible, and disciplining them when they step out of bounds. In the films, Mr. Gilbert even marries Will's mom, so that narratively, Will will never escape his teenage years.

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Can you say who makes the suggestion "Now that you've been dumped, we can all go on a mental holiday together!"?

Jay's dialog is almost always peppered with expletives, but what this line has in common with much of his oeuvre is that it demonstrates his selfish plans and his total callousness when it comes to the feelings of others, in this case, Simon. This line is also the jumping-off point for the four protagonists to leave for their holiday in the feature film "The Inbetweeners."

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