Can We Guess What Car You Drive Based on Your Road Rage?
By: Zoe Samuel
Image: Juanmonino/E+/Getty Images
About This Quiz
Some behaviors correlate very strongly with certain choices made, seemingly in unrelated areas. Studies have shown that people who use browsers other than the ones that came with their computers tend to perform better in the workplace, probably because the same behavior that leads someone to seek out and install a new web browser is the behavior of someone who looks for new ways of doing things. Studies have correlated political alignment to ownership of certain car brands, and it's obvious who has a family of five by a simple look at how many seats there are in the family crossover.
Anger can be very revealing, and the release of anger as unadulterated rage is a peek behind the thin veneer of sophistication that passes for civilization. If we could observe you in various situations that evoked road rage, we could use your behavior to triangulate which model of car you drive by comparing your behavior while in freak-out mode to our list of qualities common to certain car owners. Anger can be healthy, and expressing it in a safe space such as this is very healthy, so rather than putting you through an ordeal on the road, let's simulate that here. Take this quiz, tell us about your road rage, and we'll guess what car you drive!
Your car breaks down right after you find out that you need to get to the hospital for a family emergency. How do you take it out on your car?
A motorcyclist drives by you, smashing your rear view mirror with his handlebars as he goes. He gets stuck at a light. How do you show him how to behave?
Someone driving a pickup didn't secure a 2x4 properly, and it falls under your car, totaling it. Everyone's fine, but not your car. What do you do when the driver comes to exchange insurance info?
You're driving a plug-in electric car, and when you pull up to the only parking spot with an electrical plug, you discover a gas-powered sports car is parked there, leaving you high and dry. How do you hulk out?
After an argument with the person parked next to you outside a big box store, you return to your car to find it keyed. What do you do?
You're on the highway when some slow driver refuses to let you overtake, accelerating every time you pull up to overtake. What do you do when it becomes clear you're stuck with them for the ride?
While preoccupied on the highway, someone "brake checks" you, nearly causing a collision. You're both still on the move. What do you do?
You arrive at your car just in time to see someone crash into it while it's parked! The driver of the crashed car is clearly too young to have a license. How do you react?
You're driving an annoying friend to the airport as a favor, and despite your explicit instructions, they keep messing with the radio. How do you correct your friend?
Some jerk throws a bottle out of the window of their car, and it falls under yours, causing a blowout. Do you give chase, or call AAA?
You're driving slowly in the rain, when a fast driver, while overtaking you, briefly swerves toward you in an attempt to scare you. How does your anger now react while in fear?
How would you treat a fender bender with someone who you recognize as a workplace competitor?
You pull into a 100% full parking lot. Someone gets into their car to leave, waving you over. Then they sit there for two minutes. What next?
You come to the shop to pick up your car, which is getting its tires replaced, only to find that the garage has replaced your tires with fat performance tires. How do you express your displeasure?
A private bus sideswipes your car, but you're still moving, and the damage is cosmetic. Do you chase down the bus, which is driving away?
Someone, offended somehow, has poured paint stripper on your car while parked in front of the grocer. You spot someone with the empty can of paint stripper. What do you do?
You're crossing the street when a car brakes so close to you that you fall over. What happens when you're back on your feet?
You have a sick person in your car, and some jerk in a beat-up jalopy decides to play bumper cars with you on the highway off-ramp. You both pull over. What do you say to this blackguard?
You're opening the door to your car when another car drives by, taking off your car's door and nearly hitting you. What do you do?
You come back to your car to find that an expensive, double-parked SUV has boxed you into your parking space. How do you unleash your rage?
You're in a traffic jam. Someone sitting in the next car is playing music so loudly that you can't even drown it out with your own. Does the red mist descend?
You're driving along on a beautiful day, and some guy who has modded his pickup pushes a button, belching black smoke all over your car. What's the shape of the red beast this time?
You see a hetero couple in the car next to you having an argument that's turning physical. The man hits the woman, and the fighting stops. What do you do?
You arrive at work and someone has parked in the space you use. What action do you take?
You accidentally cut off another driver, who follows you to your destination, gets out of their car and starts kicking in your tail lights. Do you lose it?
You're going to pick up someone, but just as you start to back into the parking spot, someone dives in, stealing it. What do you say to them?
Someone seems to have mistaken you for someone they really hate, while you're stopped at a light. They're threatening to damage your car if you don't get out. What do you do?
When you're in a rush to travel a short distance and someone stalls you because they can't decide which lane to use, how do you respond?
Some punk kid smashes your windshield while you're sitting parked. His friend is filming it for YouTube. How do you get internet famous?
A student driver T-bones you. Everyone is fine, but your car is done. What do you do next?
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