Build Your Football Dream Team and We'll Guess How Old You Are

Zoe Samuel

Image: Wiki Commons by Arodgut

About This Quiz

They don’t call football “The Beautiful Game” for no reason. It’s a game that requires a lot more than just a good eye and a great kick, even if you’re just a player. You have to understand the strategy on the pitch, and how to adapt to different types of opponents. You have to know how to stay in shape and when an injury means you need to do the smart thing and take a break.

All of this is a mere fraction of the things that are on a manager’s mind on any given day. Recruiting a team means thinking not just months but years ahead, and planning intelligently around the types of players available and the funds coming in. It means finessing the concerns of wealthy owners who probably just want to win, and money men who really only care about who can draw a crowd or flog a few T-shirts. It’s a lot more complex than just going out there and firing repeatedly at the goal. 

How you approach this process is thus a function of your experience and knowledge and tells us a lot about you—including your age! Walk us through how you’d build your dream team, and who you’d include, and we’ll guess your age with scary precision!

What is the most important quality in a manager?

Which cup should your captain have previously won?

From which nation will a surprisingly large number of your players hail?

What city will you build your team in?

Who will be your number one guy for corners?

Which position will you prioritize having the deepest possible bench?

Which goalie will you pick?

Which footballer who is now a "Match of the Day" talking head will you be sure to include?

Which member of the 1966 team will you be sure to grab?

If you could get everyone from a single year of Manchester United's Premier League wins, which year would you pick?

Who will be the nicest bloke on the team?

Which player will cause trouble but be worth it anyway?

Who will you hire just to force the commentators to stumble repeatedly over their name?

Who will be your leading striker?

Which player with a phenomenal volley will you include?

When it's time to throw the ball in, who will do the throw?

Which player will you refuse to overpay for?

There's always one player on a team whose life off the pitch is even more glamorous than on, thanks to a remarkably awesome wife! Who will yours be?

Which player will you steal from a fancy Spanish or Italian team?

How much of a factor will a player's social media presence be in choosing them?

For what offense will you sadly have to fire your best player?

How will you make sure you don't accidentally pick up any divas?

Who will be your key defender?

From where will you get your best midfielder?

How much energy will you put into a farm system, compared to buying in players?

Will you pay any attention to what the pundits are saying?

What song will you encourage your fans to sing?

A Russian oligarch wants to buy the team! His money seems to come from very dodgy sources. How will you put a stop to it?

Which footballer who later became an actor will you hire?

Which footballer-turned-manager will inspire your management style?

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